Move on ova to tumblr

yep, i´m doing it too, like all other cool kids
http://totally420chronfused.tumblr.com/

peace

I love my husband
he fills me with peace and happieness like no one i´ve ever met
i didn´t think one person could be responsible for such joy, but he is

yesturday i was upset about the whole situation with my ex, not only did he put it into perspective, he also defuesd the upset in me
as a bonus he was open to me about his feelings of upset towards how worked up thomas gets me

Rodrigo is the best man i´ve ever met. he´s the best person i´ve met, i think
i cant think of anyone who feels as comfortable and cozy with me as he does
i love that
i love that all these feelings are still so amazing and new, but it feels as if he´s been in my life forever
i do not know a time before him
before this happieness
i love that
how one persons love, can completly change your world

ANGER

I´ve been back home for three days and i am already shanking with anger
thomas has spun a web of lies around my good name that i, in my happy married cloud, barely saw coming
by taking the high road and not telling people why i left him hes been able to fill in any blanks with anything that suits the truth he´s trying to project
and i can understand him insulting me, it seems to be his habit at this point, but to say Jaimee should die, i want to go to her party boo hoo, well fuck
what am i suposed to do?
obviously i ignored him, until his trerrible festering self just spouted off enough enfuriating lies to pull me in
he makes me feel so weak
so aweful
like a flu
already the awesome time i´ve had with ben and dan and gere and adem and jaimee and my wonderful manlove have been ignored in this entry
because of that stpuid barger in er  of my happy town
i have half a mind to publish the texts and messages he´s sent me
just so other people know how aweful he is,
and how crule he is to his friends
but again i take the high road
i cant stand him
i know i will vomit when i go to get my things

Rodrigo

¨Since my world met yours

It has only known wonder

How could I be so lucky

To have caught such a lover¨

When I think of chemicals

or drugs and dopamine

I wonder what it is he does to me

And what we´ve been discovering

A found rush

A deep wave

Ancient quivering and tickles 

From the softest spaces in my soul.

The pure pleasure he invokes,

It´s only his touch

But I could live in it.

Beyond a home

with him I've made worlds.

Flung future selves flying towards

Fantasy

And freedom.

He is my perpetual adventure machine

Energy and insight abound.

Inside I am almost six again

Singing just to vibrate more

Smiling for no reason

Kissing to pause the rush of today

In endless hope of wonder filled tomorrow

I am in love

With a man

With my life

¨I´ve walked wholly into love it seems

With a mystical man

Who can manifest dreams¨

rainy day as a house wife

I love my life. even on days that would have been utterly depressing and lonely to the old me (even the me of just a year ago)  i find my self as happy as if it were still sunny out. It seems Vancouver just can´t let go of rain.
even YELLOWKNIFE is nicer than here...which is just...wrong
either way i´m going home in a month
when its hot as hell here
and nice as anything there

i just house wifed it up today. sorted and washed some clothes for the move, cleaned the lint trap, played with and cleaned up after the puppy (Her name is Lucy Dimond (like the song) and i lubs herr) ate some cheese and picked up some supplies for life from the store/the corner.
i´m going to miss this calm routine of house work and puttering around during the day
having a job after not working, or even doing anything for this long is going to be so weird
like when i came back from my two months off last year
it was a bit different because i had a new position
this time its going to be a take any job (at least to begin with) and work it for all its worth kinda situation
which doesnt worry me in itself but just the aspect of working at a dead endish type job, even for big bucks
even just for a year
kiiiiinda crushes my soul, just a little. Co-op was so bad for that. but no job is fun all the time. Even working at wallys, no matter how awesome, was still pretty rough sometimes
but with the food industry thats at least expected
that you´ve like a 40-60 fun to grind ratio
i just like that you´re so busy you dont even notice where the day goes

Summertime mostly

I've slacked so much on the internets this year
i think it's because i've been working so hard at real life
i have a wonderful husband, no job yet, but soon i'll be back in yk and i'll be able to change that
i've worked a bit on my creative per suites, but mostly just baking and home making
it'd be soul crushing to most people but i love baking
and being tidy is a new adventure i dont mind embarking in at all
i did the vagina monologues back in February

www.vimeo.com/ytcabrera/vm1

www.vimeo.com/ytcabrera/vm2

there's the link to both acts, i'm the cunt in the second half

the password to view both is vagina

My meximan went and he yells cunt so loud ahah

i love how supportive he is

he's so amazing

he's actually down stairs making me breakfast right now

siiigh oh married life

it's funny i think i'm the only girl in the world who has gotten three marriage proposals from the same man, and said yes each time

in the first one i used my jedi mind tricks on him after a meeting with an immigration consultant made it clear the easiest way for us to be together for the long run (and not have to have us running back and forth between mexico and canada) was to marry. It was at AnW. Through a mouthful of bacon and egger. :D so romantic

the second time was at a beautiful park, during a perfect date, with a bowl and a kiss

and the third was at a dinner with both our families so he could ask for my hand, which is apparently the traditional Mexican way of doing things. it was so cute, he wanted to give me a ring pop (because of my deep unwavering love of all things sugary) but his mom had already found a ring in mexico that was in his budget. he did put chocolate in the container that the ring was in though :) cause he loves me

he met and got along with my family and friends too

the wedding happened so fast

and so suddenly

that when i told most people (which was on april fools day, unfortunately) they thought it was a prank

by the time my last name on facebook  changed it was a month later and everyone could see how in love we are.

How genuine this union is.

I went to Whistler too, and it's weird. Kindof has the same vibe as this one (really fake feeling) little town near calgary called Windsor i think. It's pretty, and surrounded by amazing nature but it's a town MADE for tourists. It's like a single serving, step ford dream land. a retreat with all the necessary comforts, for the right price.

it's pretty gross.....until you walk even two minutes out side of town.

then the natural life that's suppressed inside the small cities is alive and over grown and amazing.

the trees were incredible. i haven't got to play in trees like that since i went to Gabriola Island last spring. that place was gorgeous, i'll need to go there before i go home. 

I can't believe how much has changed since i've left.How much i've come into my own. I'm afraid of going back, just because now it's obvious how much it stunted my personal development. It's helped me be wild though, or maybe the city's done that. either way my friends are fantastic, and i miss them like crazy.

i miss making money too.

Colourful

How purple is your heart
how tender are you
how bruised
and who
has done the abusing

I am as obviously violet as I've invited anyone to infer
from the haze in my lungs
to my yarn ball locks
I'm living
I'm healing
I'm giving
I'm indigoing

My skin is sensitive like me,
to tickles and touches
to fondness and fuckery
but this poor purple hearts been placed
luckily
in hands as fuzzy
as my day time wonder-ponder-wanders

I'm in love with his radiation
with his air, his brain, his skin, his sex, his laugh, his touch, his spirit
and face.
His hansom body and face.
His deliberate and sincere manner has me transfixed
my world is more than rosy
it is as electrically pink as the sunsets we've imagined
onto the wall and windows
and other worlds

all these pretty perfects points,
and the addition of his purely honest love
have cumulated to a sum
greater than awe
something more equal to Borealis in august
when the sun still forgets what it should be doing and when
and my whole day
and night and life
are just colourful
wonderful